I've spent a lot of time over the past few months trying to define, or redefine myself. I went through a bit of an identity crisis. My morals and values have stayed the same, and for the most part I'm the same person, but I guess I was more concerned with whether I fit in with a certain group or not.
Openly, I am a nerd. I read and write comic books, I obsess over certain movies and television shows, and I adore Wil Wheaton. I like Star Trek, Star Wars, Superheros, video games, (even though I rarely get to play them) action figures, and Conventions. I liked Supernatural way before Hot Topic carried the merchandise, I went to film school, I can recite almost every episode of Psych, Jack Bauer is my hero
From this list, it is obvious where I fit in. There has been so much shit on the "fake geek girl" running around the Internet, and I got to thinking… maybe I'm not as nerdy as I think I am. This thought strain mainly from my breakup. I dated a boy who worked at a comic shop, and was a huge gaming nerd. I was never as nerdy as him, but I also vowed to never play Magic: The Gathering. Our relationship was filled with geeky things, we even had key chains that said "I Love You" and "I Know." I thought we were the perfect nerd couple, and getting out of it I see that obviously it wasn't perfect, but I never could compare with him. I couldn't compare to any of the girls who hit on him at the shop constantly, and even now I can't compare to his new girlfriend.
I compared my self so much to others that I forgot that I am the one that is important in this scenario. It is what I love that makes me a nerd. You can be a nerd for almost anything, I just happen to like a lot of what the nerd world has out there.
I know that it is silly to label yourself.
I've decided I do not give a shit. I am proudly a member of the geek community, and I will take that for what it is.
I have the Star Trek insignia tattooed on my chest, and I will wear it proud.
Geek girl out.
